Monday, 23 April 2012

"Bath Time, blinkin ages ago"


“Bath Time, blinkin ages ago” (Bryan Yorke 23rd April 2012)

“Ay lad, its Thursday, and tha nus what Thursday is!
Go down cellar and bring up tin bath and put it in front uh fire.
When thas done that, put some watter in Burco and turn it on.
Mek sure thas turned it on tu full, or tha’ll wait for ever”.

Half hour on and its only just about warm enough,
So after turning tap open on Burco and filling bowls,
Then putting this in bath and repeating process half a dozen times,
“You’d shairt Mum! Thers not enough watter here to fill bath”,

And she’d reply, “Well! What do you want me to do abowt it?”
“Use what tha’s already poured or wait for more watter warming up in Burco,
But if tha waits, first lot of watter ul a gone cowd tha nus.”
So a shouted back “Its OK I’ll mek do with what a got.”

And mum would also shout owt
“And wile yer had it, mek sure tha scrubs behind them ears,
I’ll bi checking thi owt later so do a proper job or else!
So scrub yer did, if tha new whats good for thi

Soap wi used was not like it is today, it was one of two sorts!
Either a “red oblong block” and I think it was called Lifebouy,
And sometimes she’d get that special soap which was a brown oval shape,
A think it was called carbolic or sommut like that,
What I remember most was that it stank.

So you’d ask mum, what have you got that sort of soap for? Its smelly!
And mum would reply “Its special soap, and its really good stuff,
And I want to mek sure tha washes thi head wi it”,
Whats so special about washing tha head wi it, I'd ask!.
Some of them at yon school are full of nits, and a don’t want thee to get em,
and if you have got any now then that special soap will kill em.

Have bin in tin bath now for at least twenty minutes or so,
So I must be really clean! Should be with all that scrubbing.
Arnt I glad that that fires up back er chimney and throwing off plenty of heat.
So, lets brave it and get owt and get dried off.

Yud get dressed quickly and abowt to make a hasty retreat to ya room,
when just at that very moment, you’d get a clip round earhoiyell,
and mum would say "And wer der ya think thas going? And ya sey “Am gooin playin owt”,
Yer gooin nowhere until thas emptied that bath, dried it and put it back daern celler.

"Those were the days my friend"
But today you can just lie theer and turn taps on!
And pull plug owt when thas finished!
Furgiveness is what I need ney,
For tekking it all for granted….